so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
