Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
