He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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