please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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