I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I didn't notice because vodka
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
