Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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