And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
