The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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