you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
