Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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