Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
