I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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