I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
