Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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