Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
