I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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