Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
