Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dick has a subreddit
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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