I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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