yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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