im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
