hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
