I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
