is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
