Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
