I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
