so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
