he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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