If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
