i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
