I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
