im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Terrible idea I love it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize