K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
