hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
