Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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