Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Michael Bay diarrhea
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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