How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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