p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
