The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
