God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she peed on how many people?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
