Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
