I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
