I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
