you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
