It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
