Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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