I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
