you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize