I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize