But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
