She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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