He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
