Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish you could order shots online.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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