I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize