I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize